The bus got me thinking

bus

I feel like I talk a lot about how much I do by myself and must come across as a super confident person. I rarely talk about the anxieties I used to have. Maybe because my mind seems to have blocked a lot of it out. Or because I think it makes me too vulnerable.

Who knows. But now I do want to talk about it because now I’ve actually thought about it, I’ve come a bloody long way!!

The other day I was walking past a bus stop that I walk past every day but for the first time, I actually registered it. Which then made me think back to when I was too scared to get the bus.

And it made me smile. From a time where just thinking of getting on a bus would make me feel physically sick, to now enjoying my train journey every morning. Well, when they’re actually running properly, hah!

That sounds like something so simple, but that was a huge step for me. And I didn’t even realised it.

But when I do remember how much anxiety filled me, causing me to rarely leave the house in my teenage years, I’m so proud of myself.

There’s still many things I have to overcome and improve, but we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t need little tweaks here and there. But the fact that I can now go out by myself to gigs, pubs, even get on a frickin plane, is amazing – if I say so myself.

bus

Because I know how awful I felt filled with worry about the simplest daily occurrences, so those were never even things I considered doing.

The reason I wanted to write this post wasn’t to say how I’ve overcome a lot of my worries. I wanted to write it because I hadn’t even realised that I’d done it. Yeah, I know how crazy it sounds.

Of course I remember how I felt every time I got a little victory, like when I first got on the bus alone. But now that was years ago and I’ve done more things since, it got pushed to the back of my mind.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, we don’t give ourselves enough credit. We need to think about those small wins more often. As tiny victories aren’t tiny at all because they lead to another challenge which we can overcome and so on.

No, it’s not easy, but it’s possible. Because now I live for those little victories. And you should too!

If you’ve read this whole post (firstly, thank you) you should think about some of your little victories. However big or small, just dig through your brain and surface some of those wins that you forgot about.

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