We’ve all had those thoughts of “no one is ever going to love me” at some point. I usually get overloaded with negativity when it comes to finding love so I’ve said that an awful lot.
Dating feels impossible. I think it always has been. The search to find someone who you connect with on a level like no one else isn’t an easy thing. Nowadays it’s easier to find people but that makes it harder to find the right people.
All it takes is a swipe to see another potential date and it makes some people, dare I say it, greedy.
That’s not me saying you shouldn’t date lots of people because that makes you greedy, no no no, not at all. In fact I’m saying the opposite.
I think you should date a lot of people if you want too – while you’re single of course, hah! I think you should sleep with a lot of people if you want too (again, while single, or unless you’re into that). As long as all parties involved are happy with the terms, I think you should do whatever the hell you want, dating wise.
It’s the people who are abusing the methods of dating in the 21st century and are hurting people in the process. Taking what they want and giving nothing but false affection for another. That’s greed.
There’s a lot of greed to sift through and that’s what can make the dating game feel so hopeless. I’ve realised (about a minute before I opened up this document to start spilling my guts) that this doesn’t have to be such a negative.
I touched upon how I seem to lose myself a bit when I’m dating someone in my post on why I’ve been struggling to blog lately. It’s something I do subconsciously and it’s not healthy. Not one bit. I always give a lot to people who I care about, and even more so when I’m trying to win a guy over.
I’ve always seen that as a bad thing. Been too apologetic when they pull the “it’s not you, it’s me” bullshit.
I’ve always thought I hadn’t done enough, where in reality, I’d done the amount that was right for me. It’s not that what I give isn’t enough or wasn’t right. I’ve just given way too much to the wrong people. I would’ve seen that as a waste as little as a month ago. But right now, after a lot of thinking and self love, I’m feeling all fresh and positive!
I find dating a pretty hard thing to talk about because it has so many ups and downs. It’s okay to feel negative about it sometimes, it’s only natural when nothing seems to be going right. I don’t think we should let it swallow us up, because the shitty parts are what teach us the most.
What I’m trying to say here is, I’m glad dating feels impossible.
Because so far that’s all it has felt like, and I think that if things feel past hopeless with someone, it’s not meant to be. So I’m no longer letting a failed fling get me too down because it means I’m over another impossible step but I’m heading in the right direction. Because i don’t know about you, but dating some completely different people has made me learn a lot about myself and what i want, and definitely don’t want lol, out of a relationship.
Now I’m getting a lil soppy but – if it wasn’t so damn hard to find the right person, we’d have nothing to look forward too.
To me the most exciting part of dating is learning about a new person and seeing how well you get on. If that ‘perfect’ connection was something we could get as soon as we snapped our fingers, there would be no excitement in it for me.
I’m not saying that we’re all just working up to finding that perfect person because I’m not quite sure I believe in that either. But I think there’s potentially multiple people out there who we could have some kind of special connection with, and that’s hella intriguing to me.
So I say thank you, fuckboys! And thanks to the nice guys who just weren’t the right match.
You’ve made dating seem pretty tragic because I’ve not yet had a lucky break. Then you’ve helped me realise that I didn’t fuck things up. I’m actually a pretty damn good catch, if I say so myself.
Right now dating feels impossible because it is impossible to try and make a relationship with the wrong person. Finding love isn’t my priority right now, creating my jewellery is. (I’ve said this many times, but I always end up opening tinder again for some sort of validation when I’m feeling sad. But that’s a whooooole other thing I’m working on).
It’s not what I’m spending all my time worrying about anymore. I’m hoping that this new mindset will help me flourish in other aspects of my life, and will stop me from exhausting myself by putting so much effort into the ‘impossible’ boys.
Do you think dating feels impossible?