struggling to blog

It’s been a bit quiet over here for a while now. The time I dedicated to my blog slowly became less when I started my YouTube channel, because I found a new love for filming and editing. But you may or may not have noticed, it wasn’t too busy over on my channel either until recently.

So why has my content almost disappeared?

Well, on my insane trip to Italy, I felt super confident. Enough to take self portraits in public and that confidence stayed with me when I got back. So for a while, I was up on a cloud, finally starting to enjoy being myself.

I was taking more time to just relax and do more things I enjoy. Of course I adore making content, so it wasn’t that I stopped thinking about it. But I’d got to that miserable point of feeling stressed about my creativity and honestly, it was nice to not think about it for a little while.

So Netflix and books became my best friends for a few weeks. I even started cooking some actual, healthy meals for myself and realised cooking also stresses me out, but it’s usually worth it. My salmon, jacket potato and salad dinner was to die for.

Another part of feeling happy with myself meant that I felt I was ready to start dating again. I hadn’t had a bad break up or anything like that, I was just fed up of boys and was generally feeling down about the concept of love.

So while I was full of joy, I re-downloaded Tinder.

I know, I know. I shouldn’t feel like I need a man to be completely happy, and Tinder probably isn’t the best place to look either. But nevertheless, I wanted to give dating another go, so I did. I like to speak to guys for a little while before actually meeting them to make me feel more comfortable. So after about a week, I agreed to go on a date with one guy, which ended up being quite an intense relationship (oh no, don’t let a millennial male hear me say the word ‘relationship’ !!) for nearly 2 months.

Some might say, and many have said, a fault of mine is giving a lot of myself to people when I’m dating them. Because I was in that whirlwind of romance, I wasn’t putting myself and the things I enjoy first, so of course my content was neglected. Then trying to get back into the rhythm of creating again is pretty damn hard.

struggling to blog

I think having a break can either lead you to give up on it or to reimagine an improved version.

I’m hoping I’ve done the latter, hah! I was kidding myself thinking I could just get back into everything like it was months ago and I’m glad I realised that. Because instead I’ve come up with a plan of how I can adjust my content to fit it more aspects of my life that I want to talk about – including the exciting new project I’m working on!!

I think I’ll make another post eventually covering all the changes that will be coming to Vicky Views – here, and on YouTube. (I did recently post my first art video though if you wanna check it out, I’d appreciate it).

For now, my content is still going to be all over the place. Or maybe even still kinda non existent. Well, this post now exists so at least I’ve started off alright, eh.

In all honesty, the reason I’ve been struggling to blog lately is because I fell out of love with this site. It hasn’t been what I wanted it to be so I was subconsciously avoiding it. Buuuuuut hopefully in a few months I’ll be out of this rut and back on a better track.

Here’s to an exciting future of blogging!