My birthday is coming up soon and it’s made me think about being 20. When I was little, the thought of being 16 seemed miles away, and it felt like at 20 my life would be over.
Now that’s not the case at all. I mean, I might nearly be half way to forty but my life as an “adult” has hardly begun.
But my view on what age you’re considered old is not the only thing that’s changed. Obviously when you’re young you’re always dreaming about how perfect everything will be.
Life is just full of rainbows!!
As we all know, in reality it’s not. And now I realise how innocent some of my younger selves plans were, so I’m going to have a look at how my real life is different to what little Vicky thought it would be.
My 10 year old self had planned to be married by 23 and having a baby at 25. Hah! That’s not what I want now. I’ve not had a serious relationship yet, so I must have thought it was so easy to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
I’ve dated 4 different guys up to now and it’s not worked out for different reasons each time. (Some of them I now dislike more than others, hah).
At the times when things were going wrong with any of those guys it sometimes felt like the end of the world and like I wouldn’t find anyone else. But now I look back I realise I was over reacting. And I’m glad how everything turned out in the end.
I’ve learnt so much about other people and myself from every dating experience – the wonderful, the hilarious and the damn right awful!!
Maybe if I had met someone my opinion would still be the same as when I was younger. Who knows. But putting guys aside, for the last few years I’ve wanted to get a career and the cliché bs “find myself” before settling down.
I’m focusing on myself instead of boys for the first time in ages, and I’m bloody loving it.
Getting that degree
It’s drummed into your head at school that university leads to the perfect future. I believed that so I was going to sixth form then I was going to get great grades and go to uni in London to study journalism.
Well, that dream was crushed as soon as I began sixth form because it was nothing like I imagined.
I put all of my focus on the work. Spent every single break in the library, often meaning I didn’t eat all day. As soon as I got home, I’d do homework or be revising. Basically, I put too much pressure on myself until I cracked.
Sooooo, once my AS Level exams were out of the way, i dropped out of college!!
I’m actually really proud of myself for lasting as long as I did. My anxiety was through the roof on a daily basis, but I didn’t want all the work I’d done to go to waste. So I stuck at it until I could breath again.
Unfortunately some of my grades didn’t reflect the work I’d put in. Boyyyyy did I cry!! For a couple of weeks I moped around about it. I didn’t get the results I wanted and was it even the right decision to leave sixth form?
In short, yes!! Because then I started to look at apprenticeships in media and I was incredibly lucky to get offered an interview and then get the apprenticeship in social media marketing as quick as I did.
I love my job and I’ve learnt so much in just the 2 years I’ve been there. Thinking about it, with the mental state I was in, I think university would have been an awful experience for me. But I guess that’s something I’ll never know!! What I do know though is I’ve grown confidence and as a person since being in work.
This point is a bit different because it’s something I didn’t have in my plans.
I’ve always loved dogs (I mean, how can you not??). We always used to look after a family friend’s dog whenever she was on holiday. Then she got another one so then we watched her dogs, hah!
I always looked forward to it for weeks and then would miss them when they’d gone. So this always made me want a dog. Like I said before, when you’re little you just see all the positives. So I went on asking for a dog for years until I finally got to an age where I realised the responsibility.
Then when I was 18 (i still didn’t know the full responsibility, but i don’t think you ever will until you actually have a pet) and convinced my parents to allow me to have a dog in their house.
Yessssss, I pay for everything Olive needs and look after her!! She is my pet and not a “family” dog, so to speak, but of course we all love her and treat her like she is.
Anyway, having a dog always seemed a bit far fetched. I thought if I was ever going to get one, it’d be once I’d settled down with that husband I mentioned before. But nope, here I am with a beautiful beagle and I couldn’t love her more. Even if she’s jumped on my laptop about 20 times just while i’ve been trying to write this.
There’s so many more things that I’ve thought about as I’ve been going but I think this post might already be too long, haha.
But if you hadn’t noticed, my life is just a bit different to what my younger self had planned, but I’m pretty happy with it so far. Instead of dreading it, I’m now actually excited to see what my 20’s will hold.